5/24/85
I was expecting to have a large hypodermic needle full of female hormones injected into me, but I have been given nothing of ht sort. I've been given what Dr. Mallinder has called implants. There are slow release hormones which last for five years. I've been told that this will save me continuing to go to the hospital for booster snts and the daily taking of some pills. Al I have to do is sit back and wait for things to happen.
I suppose that sounds great on the surface, but what if I change my mind? Get cold feet about the whole idea? There things are in me for the duration. They are sore, too. I've had them inserted just to the rear of my right thought, just under the skin. I can feel them. They're like ridges just below the surface. It feels as if someone's pushed some matchsticks under my skin.
I'm not happy about them. Taking hormones by way of pills allows me to discard them if I change my mind. For now, it's as if I'm fated for femininity... no way out.