I considered the situation. I was a transsexual. During the times I am talking of, that situation was not like it is today. For a start, I couldn't change my birth certificate from male to female and same sex marriages weren't allowed. I could change my driving licence to my female name which I had already done. I could change my name to a female Christian name as I already had. So everything was stacked against me. Martin knew nothing of my past. I had never considered myself as male, but I knew that someday Martin would need to know the truth.
I couldn't marry as a woman. I could get married but not to another man and it was a man I wanted to marry. The only way I could have sex was as a woman as my body was not formed female. Still under the laws in effect at that time, I was considered a man in many ways. I loved my man as a woman, however, I wanted him to have my body as any woman does. But society told me I couldn't. I cried myself to sleep that night. Why, why was I born this way? Had god played some cruel trick on me?