It was going to be me being me. Period. I forced myself to being, not masquerading as a sexyu turn-on beauty, but simply being myself. A beautiful woman who didn't wet her panties at the sight of herself in a mirror. My getting hard-ons making myself feminine and making myself due to that was fetichistic. Women getting damp over their beauty were simply narcissists. A big difference. They didn't stop to escalate their moistness to the point of orgasm because of their attractiveness. A woman doesn't normally get sexually excited wearing her own clothes. So neither would I. I could get myself off if I felt like it. But that was it. Not because clothes turned me on. No! There were times for sex, but not from what I hoped was to be my clothes. I soule be in control of my own body. Not in control of me.