I still couldn’t put it all into perspective when I got home. Everything seemed so normal again, as if I’d never been away.
I struggled to put all these experiences into context in the following weeks. Dad was preoccupied; not that I could have told him that I’d been having sex with a boy who acted like a girl. I couldn’t tell Thelma that her nephew had kissed me like I was a girl either.
I certainly couldn’t tell either of them that it had left me confused. Was I wrong to be confused? Should I have been repelled and refused to have anything to do with them again. I had no answer, but I knew that I didn’t want to do that. As the days passed, I really wanted more, but I couldn’t have said what I wanted more of.