I went into the bathroom and the thought of having to use the women's room started me crying again. Looking at myself in the mirror as I dried my tears and fixed my make-up, and I think I really saw for the first time how different I was. My lips, eyes, and nose don't look like they used to, and I can see now that Marla made sure it was going to be very hard for me to ever look like 'David' again! I sat in the toilet stall for maybe fifteen minutes pondering all this shit.
I listened to the sounds of the other women in the bathroom with me and found myself trying to remember what it felt like to be in a men's bathroom, standing at a urinal, instead of sitting in a stall. Watching their feet pass by me as they came and went, and wondering what their lives ere like. I was identifying with those women who married the wrong guy. Whose lives were now out of their control Somehow, during this thought process. I found that I had gotten rock hard.